The world needs a lot of love at the moment.  

America is on the brink of disaster as Trump’s administration wreaks havoc with what has been ominously described as just the beginning.

In the space of a week we have seen women’s health attacked, the Joint Chiefs of Staff removed from almost all National Security Council meetings and replaced by a known alt-right supporter, anyone born in a list of 7 countries banned from entering the USA regardless of them being in receipt of a valid visa or green card, and now there is rumour Trump is to revoke the Endangered Species Act.

All this in less than a fortnight!

I feel like I’m living in a nightmare where I’m watching the worst reality TV show ever made,  playing the most morally reprehensible games with the participants.  Where the phrase “Alternative Facts” has become a replacement for lies and deception.

And I am getting scared.

As a bystander to what is happening across the Pond, I cannot understand why anyone would still be in support of Trump.  Do they not see the parallels between now and Germany in the 1930s?  A country built on mass immigration surely cannot have so many millions of citizens blind to what is going on?

I’m supposed to be spending a milestone birthday in NYC next year, as I’m a July 4th baby.  Since I was at least 4 it’s been my dream to spend my day in the country that celebrates its own birth on the same date.  A country I always thought was the epitome of friendship, dreams, opportunity and freedom.  Today I question whether this is just a little girl’s fantasy, and if the reality is I will not be celebrating something special in a place that is lives up to my expectation.

I’ve been to New York before, so I know it is a wonderful city with warm, funny people.  But am I putting too much expectation on this gateway for immigrants and refugees starting a new life filled with hope?  Is this new administration killing my own dream, or am I the one destroying it by allowing one mad man’s decisions to dictate the course of my life?

So I am sat here torn.  Do I continue planning my birthday celebrations to coincide with those of the USA?  Or do I say no, it’s your day so spend it in a place where you won’t feel like you are making a political statement.

Afterall, isn’t a birthday supposed to be fun?

I guess it will come down to a toss of a coin.  Because right now my head and my heart are in conflict, and I don’t know how to solve the issue.

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