Keep breathing.

Once again its been ages since I last blogged. I’ve meant to put down my thoughts on many occasions and ended up forgetting to, or finding myself lost for the right words.

But today I’ve been sparked into putting down my thoughts, all because I thought I was sharing a nice idea at this special time of year.  Turns out I was very much mistaken, and was informed that you shouldn’t tell people how to parent!

Here’s the offending idea …..

I thinks it’s. Thoughtful, and invokes the spirit of the season beautifully. Apparently some think the opposite and had no problem in telling me to basically stfu and stop lecturing others on how to parent!

It hurt me enormously.  It made me feel a millimetre high.  It made me feel upset that someone would be so rude about such an innocent post.  Most of all I feel angry at allowing myself to be affected in this way.

This year has been the biggest emotional roller coaster I’ve experienced in over 20 years.  I’ve survived it by doing everything I can to prevent myself from being allowed to think about it all.  Burying my head in the sand you might say.  Doing what I felt I needed to do to must keep going.

To just keep breathing.

I’ve had so.many moments when I thought I couldn’t go on nut I did. Then last week I finally let the emotions out and signed myself off work for a few days, before I broke down completely.  It was needed, I am mentally a big ball of scrambled thoughts and emotions that needs to just get off the rollercoaster for a while. To stop the endless spinning and to gain my balance again.

And to stop bloody crying at the weather or the news or my damn 10 year old cat finding a ball and playing like he’s 10 weeks old!

I felt better than I have for a while. Up instead of down, head above the clouds instead of feeling like they are pushing me under.  Then I get told to butt out of how other people parent and do Christmas.

I was about to retreat into.myself.again, to let the dark feelings take over.  Then I decided to put it it words on here, and it’s been easier than I thought.

Will I let someone make me feel bad for wanting to share a nice idea? Will I be bullied into feeling like I should never suggest ways to make the future generations show more thought and compassion towards others?

No is my answer. That is not who I am, who I have ever been.  And I will not let it be the person I become in the future.  I will be true to myself,  I will keep breathing.

And if you don’t like it, just ignore the post and move along.

Wishing you all love, laughter and truth of self xxx

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